If you have a serious "wind-breaking" problem, patent 6313371 will save you some embarrassment(theoretically). It is described as a Flatulence Deodorizer which sits in your pants and cancels out nasty smells that might escape. Yes, it looks like a plastic spoon with the bowl sitting roughly in your volcanic area. I love the "stink" representation in the above cartoon too.
[GuyFix] VIA [GadgetVenue]
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